BONUS for all Subscribers: So, We Have to Talk About “Golden Penis Syndrome” …
“World ends tomorrow! Women, minorities hardest hit!”
There’s an old joke about the slant newspapers put on their headlines that goes, “World ends tomorrow! Women, minorities hardest hit!” If you pay attention, you’ll semi-regularly run across articles with that kind of take. For example, courtesy of the inimitable Shoe0nhead:
There’s another piece in this vein from the New York Post that had such a catchy name that I couldn’t resist writing about it. The article is called, “Men with ‘golden penis syndrome’ are ruining sex and dating for women” and the gist of it is that women are suffering because not enough men are going to college:
Men with college degrees have become so cocky that they’re ruining romance for their female counterparts, one 'leading expert' alleges.
Just 40.5% of college students in the United States are male, according to the National Student Clearinghouse, meaning they’re in short supply and high demand when dating on campus.
A lack of competition has led these men to develop 'golden penis syndrome' — an arrogance that stems from the assumption that a steady supply of females will be sexually interested in them.
'Golden penis syndrome' has led these smug males to engage in dastardly dating practices, such as cheating and ghosting, because they’re confident that another woman will always be waiting around the corner.
The term was purportedly coined by frustrated female students at Sarah Lawrence College in upstate New York — where three-quarters of all enrollees are the fairer sex.
Journalist Jon Birger believes many college-educated men in their 20s, 30s, and 40s have also developed GPS because they’re similarly in high demand when it comes to dating.
'The sex ratios among college-educated, hetero singles in Manhattan is approximately three women for every two men. I’ve interviewed a lot of men who were continuing to take advantage of that imbalance,' Birger told Mel Magazine.
'[And] 1981 was the last time that four-year colleges in the US graduated more men than women. Ever since, women have been leaving men in the educational dust.'
Birger — who penned the best-selling book 'Date-onomics: How Dating Became a Lopsided Numbers Game’ — further explained to the Daily Mail: 'We’re seeing a generation of young men who think they’re Adam Driver or Michael B. Jordan. Of course, it’s not about them. It’s the ratio.'
He continued: 'When men are in undersupply, the dating culture becomes less monogamous — men are more likely to treat women as sex objects and treat relationships as disposable.'
Of course, there isn’t actually an “undersupply” of men at all. There is an “undersupply” of men that meet the standards these women have.
All of us, male and female, have certain “rules” in our heads about what our potential mates should be like. Some of those rules are personal, others have been adopted from what we’ve been told by friends or family and still others come from what we’re told to expect by society. Not all of these rules are spoken or even conscious, but they have an impact.
For example, start paying attention to obvious couples you see walking down the street and you’ll notice some things. For one, the men are almost always taller than the woman. The men are also almost always older. For another, if you rank the attractiveness of both members of the couple on a 10 scale, very rarely will see more than a 2-point difference between them. If you do, it’s almost always because either the guy is wealthy/successful enough to make up for his looks, or alternately, they’re married and one of the partners let themselves go. Along similar lines, women also strongly prefer to date men that are more successful than they are and that have at least as much education as they do. A male CEO will happily date a maid. A female CEO typically isn’t going to date some guy from the mailroom.
So, who are the “golden penis” guys? They’re the dating version of the Pareto Principle (80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes) in action. They check all the right boxes and so, they’re in demand. This is supposedly a problem, but you can be sure that those men don’t see it as a “problem” any more than attractive women see it as a “problem” that so many men are chasing them around. When it’s a seller’s market, the sellers can demand a lot more and get it. Welcome to Supply and Demand 101.
Of course, if it is a seller’s market, the question is how does the market rebalance? Basically, either women need to lower their standards, or alternately, more men need to be able to meet that standard. Towards that latter end, we hear incessant claims that women are the ones being poorly served by our educational system. However, judging by the gender make-up we’re seeing in colleges these days, our educational system in America is obviously failing to serve men, not women. Maybe instead of bowing to the false narrative that says we must give women a hand up at every opportunity because we live in a patriarchy that puts them at a terrible disadvantage, we should look at the world as it is and see that we need to be making a much bigger effort to help MEN thrive in our school system. Fifty years ago, it may not have been the case that men were poorly served by our schools, but it certainly is today, and we need to start worrying less about the impact of “golden penis syndrome” on women and more about all the young men in our society that aren’t living up to their potential because we’re failing to educate them.
Our colleges make great efforts to attract young women. They run campaigns to convince women to enter traditionally male fields, and they create and expand majors designed to appeal to women. Classrooms routinely teach that men are inherently evil, "toxic masculinity" and all that. And they back this up with rules of conduct that assume that in any conflict between a man and a woman, the man is wrong and the woman is right until proven otherwise. And if proven otherwise, the woman is excused with no penalty whatsoever. And then we are surprised that fewer and fewer men are attending college. Umm, what did you expect to happen?
I was married to a woman who was 2+ points lower than I was on the 10 point scale. I had low self esteem in my youth. She divorced me after 20+ years because I got sick.
I didn’t think about it at the time, but I now realize that I was never physically attracted to her.