20 Surefire Signs That You May Be a Right-Wing Extremist

If you listen to liberals in America, they will tell you that only right-wing extremists and fascists oppose their agenda of (*** checks notes ***) censorship, street violence, unlimited government power, and putting their political opponents in prison.

Still, you may say, “What if there’s no liberal around to tell me who is LITERALLY WORSE THAN HITLER and who isn’t?” Well, never fear, my friends, because I am here to help you out by giving you a list of things these vile right-wing extremists support so you can always tell who they are.

These monsters…

1) …believe we should actually JAIL CRIMINALS instead of apologizing to them because society failed them and then turning them loose in the NYC subway system.

2) …seem to non-ironically like and respect soldiers, cops, and ICE agents more than rioters, looters, and members of Tren de Argua.

3) …believe America should have a border, and that entering the country should involve outdated concepts like laws, rules, and permission.

4) …are disturbingly in favor of arresting people who are here illegally—including rapists, wife beaters, and child molesters—and sending them back to their home countries instead of giving them welfare and signing them up to vote.

5) …claim that there are only two sexes when all reasonable people realize there are 4,011 of them – oh, what? Sorry, five more were invented yesterday. There are now 4,016, including my personal favorites Werewolfdragonfaerie and Werewolfdragonfaerieself.

6) …oppose tearing down statues of the Founding Fathers, bizarrely believing that historical figures should be remembered for founding the country rather than judged exclusively by what people think is cool on TikTok.

7) …think Americans should put the needs of Americans ahead of the needs of people in other countries—even though we all know international law, the UN, Somalia, Haiti, and whatever makes Europe say nice things about us is much more important than people that actually live here.

8) …actually want voter ID, only living voters, and assurances that people are only voting once in places where they’re eligible to do so. How anti-democratic can you get?

9) …claim that you shouldn’t be able to shoplift OR loot stores. How do they expect poor, incompetent people, like black and Hispanic Americans, to even live under those conditions? Wait, maybe that came out wrong, but if you’re not a right-wing extremist, you know what I really mean!

10) …believe the military should be more focused on winning wars instead of global warming, promoting transgenderism, and increasing the number of lesbian generals.

11) …think people should be hired based on merit, not race, sex, or gender. Of course, you don’t end up with a lot of blind Polynesian airline pilots and schizophrenic midgets doing brain surgery taking this approach, so it must be wrong!

12) …think cheap, abundant energy is a good thing, even if it hurts the feelings of windmills.

13) …insist that judges should rule based on the law, not based on which rulings will be the most popular among green-haired Karens from Berkeley.

14) …want immigrants here that don’t commit crimes, don’t get on welfare, and don’t try to make America like the country they fled, even though, as people who live on stolen land, we have no right to even control our borders.

15) …believe welfare should be temporary, and there should be work requirements for it, despite the fact that people who are reliant on welfare are much more likely to vote for Democrats!

16) …refuse to agree that a man should be able to put on a skirt, call himself Susan, and immediately be allowed to wave his dong at women in the ladies’ room. How transphobic can you get?

17) …often appear unnervingly “patriotic” and claim to “love America,” even when there ISN’T AN ELECTION coming up.

18) …like things like guns, weight-lifting, and don’t think all masculinity is toxic, even though everyone knows men should wear skirts, make-up, and talk about how much they need a safe space to protect their feelings when people do frightening things like make statements they disagree with or ask them a question without using their Werewolfdragonfaerie / Werewolfdragonfaerieself pronouns.

19) …believe in free speech, despite the fact that it allows people to claim that global warming hasn’t been scientifically proven and that Kamala Harris tells lies! Obviously, that shouldn’t be allowed!

20) …want to fire enormous numbers of government employees, dramatically reduce government spending, and weaken the power of the federal government. Many of them even speak approvingly of BALANCING THE BUDGET, as if debt were real and money doesn’t just appear magically whenever we need more of it.

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