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carolyn kostopoulos's avatar

as someone who had anorexia my first year of college and recovered on my own, i'm sure glad i wasn't surrounded by a chorus of cheerleaders, affirming me on my "weight loss journey." i whittled myself down to 79 lbs (5'2") by eating an apple every other day (so i guess i kept the doctor somewhat away) and still thought i was fat. my acute episode lasted a year but the effects lingered on for 5. i was amenorrhic for 5 years and hid my weight gain with sweaters and chains of safety pins to bridge the gap in my waistbands. i was a sneak eater, refusing certain foods in public but gorging them on the sly and doing a bit of puking to keep the calories at bay.

when i started to exercise seriously- mainly interval training- i got to like my body and learned that i could eat a whole range of foods.

after reading The Omnivore's Dilemma, i found myself a farmer and switched to a whole foods, organic Weston Price type diet with massive improvements in my general health. my menstrual cycles ran like clockwork and menopause, when it came, was a complete non-event with no uncomfortable symptoms whatsoever.

today i am a very fit young looking 70 year old with a backyard of home grown vegetables and a freezer full of regeneratively raised meat. i have a strong as an ox 75 year old boyfriend who scampers up his 40 ft ladder to repair our historic metal roof.

i'm very particular about where our food comes from (farmers i know) and i prefer to cook it at home myself. Bill Gates would say that my prohibition of all processed packaged chemical synthetic GMO, etc foods is in itself a kind of eating disorder but he has a gut and boobs and i don't (well, i have breasts but hey, i am a woman).

we choose to spend our food dollars at the farmer's market and keep it all out of Cargill/Monsanto's pockets.

likewise i go only to alternative doctors who don't take insurance; i'm a medicare bargain. i have a personal gym on the 3rd fl and i'm up there everyday lifting weights and riding an HIIT bike. we have a far infared sauna for detoxing.

i was lucky. my friend's sister died in a Karen Carpenter like manner from her eating disorder. another friend's teeth were all rotted out from chronic bulimia. i didn't have teachers or internet support groups egging me on to lose even more weight. no one suggested the amputation of body parts as a way to trick the scale.

i didn't live in a time when a person could actually make a living posting tik tok videos of their derangement or when the culture celebrated these terrible problems as "body positivity." i think i dodged a bullet. i was left alone to outgrow an insecure phase and blossom into a strong accomplished woman

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HUMDEEDEE's avatar

Once upon a time, the traveling carnival was where freaks were showcased. Now, they are massively promoted and lauded and followed on social media, in blue state streets, in schools all across the land, in most entertainment, and government and yes, even churches. We have advanced beyond Clown World. Humans now live in Nightmare World. Ugly. Sickening. Repulsive. Frightening. Dangerous.

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