The Big Skew: How Social Media Breaks the Way We Look at the World

Although I am certainly not a big Instagram user, it occurred to me the other day that out of the 173 people I follow on Instagram, FOUR OF THEM are current or past world record holders in the bench press, squat, or deadlift. I listen to podcasts and watch YouTube videos from many of the same people along with others who travel in those same circles. For example, here’s a podcast I listen to on occasion (just take a quick glance through to see some of the accomplishments of people he’s interviewing):

So, what do you think inputting all of this into someone’s brain on a regular basis would do to their idea of what they would consider a “physically strong” person to be? What do you think it would do to someone’s perception of how strong they are compared to the general population? If this is what you see all the time, it could be very easy to think of say a 700-pound squat as being strong and a 1,000-pound squat as being “really strong,” when in reality, there are probably only a few thousand people in all of human history that have ever squatted 700 pounds and less than 50 that have ever squatted 1,000.

This is the skew that social media creates and it’s EVERYWHERE.

For example, sticking to the weightlifting/health topic, I’m a fan of Layne Norton’s work. He’s one of those world record holders who also happens to be a scientist dedicated to debunking what he thinks is nonsensical fitness and nutrition advice floating around. One of the things he loves to say is, “Pick up boulders, not pebbles.”

What does that mean? It means that there are a number of very basic, fairly non-controversial big things you can do to greatly improve your health. Get plenty of regular, high-quality sleep. Find some kind of exercise that you like and do it consistently. Don’t eat too much and make as much of your diet whole, natural foods as possible. Avoid and reduce man-made toxins and chemicals getting into your body as much as possible.

Know what that is? That’s probably 80% of what it takes to be healthy for everyone. Also, these aren’t hotly debated topics. They’re almost universally accepted ideas. Yet and still, how much time do health-related podcasts, YouTube channels, and podcasts spend on those topics? Not much, because it would be BORING. Because it wouldn’t be profitable. Because people want to distinguish themselves from everyone else. So, they talk about strange recovery methods, exercise equipment, and supplements that may genuinely be helpful, but that are still, in the words of Layne Norton, “pebbles” as far as their impact on your health.

Of course, fitness and health-related matters are just a tiny slice of this. Have you ever heard of the “Female Delusion Calculator?” It’s actually a pretty nifty idea. It takes all those things people online SAY women are supposed to want in a man and it calculates the chances of a woman actually finding someone like that.

For example, let’s say you’re an attractive, white 30-year-old female who wants to date a single white man, between 30-35, who’s at least 6 feet tall, not obese, and makes 100k per year. That sounds pretty good, but not overly ambitious, right? That’s probably what most women online would say, so what are the chances of actually meeting (not dating, just MEETING) a guy like that? What percentage of the white male population between 30-35 meets those qualifications?

In other words, if that’s your bare minimum, you better get that wine and kitty litter ready for a long life alone.

But “How can that be?” you may think. We seem to see people like that everywhere, don’t we? If you listen to advice online and see the lifestyles people are living, you’d think everyone is non-stop partying, traveling, and making big money deals every day, right?

Well, that’s certainly the impression we all want to give everyone else about our lives, isn’t it? That’s why we put the highlights of our lives online, not photos from the time we had that bad day, put on some sweatpants, ate a bunch of garbage food, got drunk, and woke up at 3 AM sweaty on the couch with our face caked with drool. Do you know who has those days? EVERYBODY. Elon Musk, Kim Kardashian, Jake Paul, Eminem, The Rock, Joe Rogan, you name it. We just don’t see it because nobody shows that. That’s what makes it so easy to compare our worst moments and humdrum days to those highlight reels and then feel bad. That leads to so many of us doing this:

Do you know what you’re looking at when you see a photo of a model online? Usually, you’re looking at a genetically gifted woman who was photographed hundreds of times to get the best shot, then that was heavily photoshopped and it’s easy to feel inadequate compared to that. When you look at some muscular Hollywood stars like Chris Hemsworth or Hugh Jackman, do you know what you’re looking at? An extremely genetically gifted, handsome man who may spend $100,000 per year on drugs, trainers, chefs, and workout gear, has a home gym that costs more than your house, and whose whole livelihood is dependent on looking good in front of a camera. It’s not an even-steven competition.

Similarly, when we’re talking about celebrities and influencers, there’s no way to know how much of what you’re seeing is real and how much of it’s fake.

Just to name one of many, many examples, UFC President Dana White saying, “I am so f***ing tired of doing podcasts” and walking off Howie Mandel’s podcast got an enormous amount of attention:

Well, about that:

The fact that you hear from these influencers or celebrities from their houses and online, like they’re your friends, doesn’t mean they’re not lying to you. You’re not really getting a window into their world. You’re getting a window into the character they’re playing, which may be an outgrowth of their personality, but it’s still a character and their job is to get you to look. You don’t look? You don’t care? Then they don’t make money. So, they will say, do or create situations that make you pay attention to what they’re doing.

It’s also worth noting that a lot of these people are abnormal to begin with. Is Kat Cenat, who is the most subscribed to Twitch streamer, really just naturally this over-the-top?

Maybe. There is a tiny percentage of people that are like that, but guess what? Almost all of them are ANNOYING. Here’s Dylan Mulvaney pre-transition.

Imagine having a friend or roommate who acted like this all the time. You’d probably fantasize about murdering them and dumping them in a gravel quarry. What makes for an entertaining video (at least for some people) is hard to endure when you’re around it all the time.

Furthermore, you should never forget that what everyone already knows about, what everyone can see works, is not a story. Dog bites man is not a story. Man bites dog is. Man marries his high school sweetheart, they have 3 kids and live into a ripe old age together, having a few struggles but a generally happy life is not a story. So, what is a story? “I dumped my husband for his son, and it worked out great!” “I have six wives and we all sleep in the same bed!” “I married a trans woman! Here’s why every man should do it unless they’re gay!” “I’m dating a sex doll inhabited by the ghost of Marilyn Monroe and I’ve never been happier!” If these stories haven’t appeared in The Daily Mail or The New York Post yet, give it time. They will. Why? Because it’s counter-intuitive and makes you want to look. Saying “Meth is bad for you” is boring. Saying “Meth is the ultimate weight loss tool” gets you to look and like these fake exotic dating stories, it may even have a grain of truth to it as long as you consider it over a very short time frame and you don’t ask any tough questions.

So much of what you’re seeing is branding, it’s showbiz, it’s a soap opera, it’s a bunch of people who don’t actually know anything explaining how the world works and pointing to a fake life they’ve created to convince you that you know that they know what they’re talking about.

The world has never been more fake, deceptive, and more difficult to decipher than it is today. Realistically, you’re not going to just figure all of this out on your own or via your intuition either. So, find people who are succeeding. Find people you trust. Find older people who know something about the world. Read some books and don’t take everything you see at face value. The picture of the world you’re being served up every day is skewed and it’s not going to get straightened out anytime soon. If anything, as AI and deep fakes get more advanced, it’s only going to get harder to figure out.

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