I have an irresponsible brother. I always try to be generous, but I give money to my brother grudgingly, so he finds it unpleasant to ask, and will try other avenues before he comes to me.
My natural father hit mental health problems in his late 20s and split. My mother, with only a high school education, raised three sons in near poverty but without any public assistance. She remarried to a guy that basically attempted to supplant me as the new oldest son. We fought... fist fights and all. I usually lost because he was big and fat and played football in college. But after high school I split. I had already been working since I was twelve. Paid for my own car, my own clothing... just about everything discretionary. I never got a dime from any family member. Even though the stepfather made a lot of money in his business (and lost it all later).
I have two sons. Both wonderful. Both working for me. One is married with our first grandchild on the way. Ther other is engaged.
But looking back on my life where I have been very successful professionally and make a very good living, I have failed to help other friends and family members, enough I think, because of my perspective connected to my own life were I just solved my own problems and moved forward. I think my sons are great because of my work ethic and pragmatic focus on just putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with each challenge. But I have some regrets that I did not reach out to other family and friends that needed help because I expected them to do the same. Three family suicides haunt me with my own guilt for not having done more to help them.
Helping immediate family is different. There is just this need for practicing the types of behaviors that are positive and are emulated. It also required more tough love at times... ignoring some of the short-term pain of conflict for the greater long-term good. However, when the bonds of love are weaker... extended family and friends... sometimes just giving something can help and is the right thing to do. Not to enable bad behavior and bad choices, but to help people get through a rough patch.
I think the decision to pass on a very large legacy to one's children depends on a lot variables, most importantly knowing whether your son(s) or daughter(s) would be able to handle it. It's somewhat like winning the lottery, and most of us know what happens to lottery winners. If Cowell's raised his son responsibly, with good moral character, a solid work ethic, and doesn't have a "it's owed to me" attitude, he's probably a good candidate. Otherwise, coming into extreme wealth might be his undoing.
Spot on. "Let the record show the witness identified the defendant."
I would go a step further: I'd argue that the lad should be given an opportunity (OK, compelled) to make his own way for a reasonable period of time before he comes into whatever legacy his father sees fit to leave him. There's any number of ways of doing this using a trust instrument, and if nothing else, there are favorable tax implications for some of the options.
Someone who's never worked a day in their life is not going to be able to handle a large sum of money well if they get it as soon as they are done with school or whatever else they spend their adolescence doing. I mean...look at what happens to star athletes who sign huge contracts: a disproportionate number of them are busted not very long after the paychecks stop coming in, because they just haven't learned the necessary instincts.
If I had that kind of money, I'd set up a trust that would pay the kid a few thousand bucks a year--for luxuries rather than necessities--starting when he was--say--21 years old, and would wrap up twenty years later and give him access to the corpus.
I have an irresponsible brother. I always try to be generous, but I give money to my brother grudgingly, so he finds it unpleasant to ask, and will try other avenues before he comes to me.
My natural father hit mental health problems in his late 20s and split. My mother, with only a high school education, raised three sons in near poverty but without any public assistance. She remarried to a guy that basically attempted to supplant me as the new oldest son. We fought... fist fights and all. I usually lost because he was big and fat and played football in college. But after high school I split. I had already been working since I was twelve. Paid for my own car, my own clothing... just about everything discretionary. I never got a dime from any family member. Even though the stepfather made a lot of money in his business (and lost it all later).
I have two sons. Both wonderful. Both working for me. One is married with our first grandchild on the way. Ther other is engaged.
But looking back on my life where I have been very successful professionally and make a very good living, I have failed to help other friends and family members, enough I think, because of my perspective connected to my own life were I just solved my own problems and moved forward. I think my sons are great because of my work ethic and pragmatic focus on just putting one foot in front of the other and dealing with each challenge. But I have some regrets that I did not reach out to other family and friends that needed help because I expected them to do the same. Three family suicides haunt me with my own guilt for not having done more to help them.
Helping immediate family is different. There is just this need for practicing the types of behaviors that are positive and are emulated. It also required more tough love at times... ignoring some of the short-term pain of conflict for the greater long-term good. However, when the bonds of love are weaker... extended family and friends... sometimes just giving something can help and is the right thing to do. Not to enable bad behavior and bad choices, but to help people get through a rough patch.
I think the decision to pass on a very large legacy to one's children depends on a lot variables, most importantly knowing whether your son(s) or daughter(s) would be able to handle it. It's somewhat like winning the lottery, and most of us know what happens to lottery winners. If Cowell's raised his son responsibly, with good moral character, a solid work ethic, and doesn't have a "it's owed to me" attitude, he's probably a good candidate. Otherwise, coming into extreme wealth might be his undoing.
Spot on. "Let the record show the witness identified the defendant."
I would go a step further: I'd argue that the lad should be given an opportunity (OK, compelled) to make his own way for a reasonable period of time before he comes into whatever legacy his father sees fit to leave him. There's any number of ways of doing this using a trust instrument, and if nothing else, there are favorable tax implications for some of the options.
Someone who's never worked a day in their life is not going to be able to handle a large sum of money well if they get it as soon as they are done with school or whatever else they spend their adolescence doing. I mean...look at what happens to star athletes who sign huge contracts: a disproportionate number of them are busted not very long after the paychecks stop coming in, because they just haven't learned the necessary instincts.
If I had that kind of money, I'd set up a trust that would pay the kid a few thousand bucks a year--for luxuries rather than necessities--starting when he was--say--21 years old, and would wrap up twenty years later and give him access to the corpus.
Yes. You’ve laid out a solid plan that will help, not hurt.