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Why Men Are Reluctant to Wife-Up Slutty Women
The non-mean explanation. I hope.
So, I have been seeing things like this more and more often on social media lately, which is probably not a surprise in the age of OnlyFans, sugar babies, and liberals chanting, “Sex work is real work!”
No one really explains this kind of thing to women, most men only think about it on an instinctual level, and let’s face it, the world has gotten a lot more complicated on this front in the last few decades. I think this has led to some confusion that I hope I can clear up.
Right off the cuff, keep in mind, that for much of history, the standard was that women were expected to be virgins until they were married. Back then, men thought about it in terms of “purity.” Most men didn’t want to permanently tie themselves to a woman who had been “defiled” by other men. It was viewed as disgusting.
Of course, things have changed a lot over the past few decades.
In the post-birth control era, where women can potentially have lots of partners without getting pregnant, pre-marital sex has become commonplace. Moreover, the subtle and overt messages given to women have become muddled and confused.
Women are simultaneously told that they shouldn’t act like “sluts,” but there’s nothing wrong with having sex like a man. Attractive women are heavily encouraged to monetize their beauty via OnlyFans, Patreon, or less controversially, via Instagram, but are also told that the things that get the biggest reaction from men, showing off their bodies or posing provocatively, are skanky. Women are told that the ideal is for them to have as few partners as possible and that they should make men that they like “wait,” but also that there’s a “three date” rule and so if they don’t put out within that timeframe, a man can safely assume she isn’t interested.
Women are also still generally encouraged to get married, but much later. Instead of getting married in their early twenties, now they’re encouraged to have a career, date around, and not commit for life to a man too early.
However, the downsides of that approach are seldom mentioned. One of which is that most unmarried women in their late twenties have had a lot more partners than a woman getting married in her early twenties. More partners mean a much-increased chance of having a kid in tow, which is a huge negative to any man who considers getting seriously involved.
Also, you very rarely hear people say this, but it can also lead to a lot of cynicism because the older a woman gets without being married, the more times she’s probably been pumped and dumped and the more failed relationships she’s been in.
Her body count is also going to quite naturally climb much higher and statistics show that makes a big difference in how likely the relationship is to hold together over the long term:
In other words, the thinking in our culture is mostly backward. The virginal 20-year-olds are much more likely to stay married long term than the woman who “finds out what she wants” through her twenties and settles down as she gets close to the big 3-0.
Because of the way our court system works, men are at much more risk than women during a divorce and so if they get married, they generally want to stay married. Marrying a woman with a low body count makes it more likely that will happen.
Of course, most guys probably aren’t even aware of this. For them, they prefer women with a low body count for much more primal reasons. Things like pride and shame play a big role in it.
For one thing, no man ever wants to be the guy from this variation of the famous “cuck” meme:
What’s that meme about at a core level? Well, there are several things at play.
First of all, it’s about the feeling that she had sex with those other guys just because she lusted after them. They didn’t want to take care of her, they didn’t love her, they weren’t dad material, she just wanted them. Meanwhile, the chump here had to bring all sorts of other things to the table that they didn’t for her to want to be with him. So, what does that say about him as a man? It says that he is LESS THAN them in HER EYES. That hits a man where it really hurts – in his pride as a man.
There’s also shame involved in wifing-up a promiscuous woman because men that know about it will mock you for it. The good news on that front, I suppose, is that modern society is so big that most other people are generally NOT LIKELY to know how promiscuous a woman may or may not be. In fact, some women do rack up tremendous body counts in a period of their life, move, and then play “tradwife” in waiting without anyone being the wiser as long as they’re smart enough not to talk about it.
In fact, there would probably even be some debate about what’s considered “promiscuous” these days. Triple digits? Oh, absolutely. 50? DEFINITELY. But, where’s the starting point? 10? 20? 30? That probably depends on the guy. Of course, all that potentially becomes irrelevant if a man finds out you’re a stripper, sugar baby, prostitute, OnlyFans girl, or did porn. At that point, most men are just going to start with the assumption that a woman is extremely promiscuous and they’re going to be particularly concerned about how it might impact them or their children one day if word, or even worse, FOOTAGE of their wife doing God knows what to God knows who starts floating around.
In addition, sex used to be considered an intimate, meaningful act. It still is to a lot of people. If a woman has only had sex with you, that is an indication she holds you in especially high regard. You’re important to her. Now, flip that around and consider a prostitute. How important is any man she has sex with to her? He’s of no importance at all. He’s just a paycheck. So, how respected and special is a man going to feel if he was a woman’s only partner vs. if he’s say 1 out of 40? It’s a big difference.
We also can’t forget that, unlike women, men are naturally promiscuous. There is a reason particularly powerful and well-to-do kings had harems. For men, settling down to one woman for the rest of his life, even if he loves her dearly, is quite a sacrifice. Even if he’s 100% faithful and has no interest in cheating, every man in that situation is keenly aware of the price he’s paying and what he’s potentially giving up.
So, he also has a very good understanding of what a promiscuous woman is giving up and how difficult it will be for her, particularly since men usually have to work very hard to get laid, while any attractive woman will have practically unlimited opportunities to have sex without even trying. With that in mind, is a promiscuous woman much more likely to cheat than a woman who has only had 1 or 2 partners in her life? Almost certainly.
On top of all this, men and women are wired differently.
Men tend to have a high sex drive and although sex with a partner you care about may be better, men don’t necessarily need any sort of emotional attachment to enjoy sleeping with a woman. A man can hate your guts and still want to sleep with you.
Women normally need more emotional attachment both to want to sleep with a man and enjoy it. So, if a woman has a high body count, it’s often a big red flag that suggests there’s some significant damage there under the surface. It’s just not normal for a woman to have sex like a man.
What it all comes down to is that a woman’s body count is not the end all and be all of her value as a human being. Furthermore, I have known multiple women with very high body counts who, as far I can tell today, seem to be in good relationships or are happily married mothers. The flip side of that is that a woman’s body count does matter to most men and that’s not irrational at all. Men have good reasons for caring about it.
If you’re a woman, you should probably think about that before you start a career in sex work, embrace a “hoe phase” or talk about your sky-high body count with guys you may want to be with long-term.