David Goggins is a legendary former SEAL and an ultra-endurance runner who for a time, was the Guinness World Record holder for pull-ups. We’re talking about a man who is perhaps more acquainted with voluntary pain, suffering, and enduring agony to reach his true potential than anyone else on Earth.
People that achieve at the very highest levels are like this. Goggins has run 100-mile races with little preparation before. Elon Musk has been known to have his life scheduled down into 5-minute increments. Michael Jordan once went so far as to train his biceps solely to look bigger and stronger to other players that were trying to body him.
These are the sort of people that Goggins refers to when he says:
However, this is not true for most people. Most people might love the idea of the rewards you get at the highest levels of success, but they, perhaps understandably, don’t want to embrace the sacrifice, effort, and imbalanced life it takes to get there.
On the contrary, an awful lot of Americans, particularly young Americans, have a goal that could be better described as, “Become common amongst common people.”
In other words, they want to be liked. They want to fit in. They want to be “normal” – maybe a little better than normal in their own way, but normal.
This is not new. In fact, it’s why sayings like these exist:
“Birds of a feather, flock together.”
“Like attracts like.”
“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
“If you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.”
“You're the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
What it all comes down to is that all of us are influenced by the people we spend time around, that we try to fit in with, and that we want to like us.
If you happen to be in a healthy culture or even spend time with a healthy, productive, successful group of friends, this isn’t a bad thing. In fact, this is actually why most people that send their kids to Ivy League schools do so. If your kid spends a lot of time around smart, successful, high-achieving, well-connected students, that is also how your kid will probably turn out as well.
If you spend your time around a bunch of gym bros, you will probably eat better than the average person and learn to build your body. If all your friends are “gun nuts,” you will probably end up knowing your way around firearms. If all your friends are strait-laced, devout Christians, you will probably be one, too. If you’re part of a culture where people are expected to work hard, save money, behave honorably, tell the truth, and stand up for what’s right, you’re likely to be that kind of person, too.
All of this sounds good, right?
But, what happens when you take this same philosophy into a broken culture?
We live in a culture where mental illness has exploded, anti-depressant usage is the highest in the world, 40-50% of marriages end in divorce, IQ scores are declining, the average American is 90K+ in debt, 62% of Americans are living paycheck-to-paycheck and life expectancy is declining.
Do you really want to fit in with that? Do you really want the people living like that to look at you and think, “He’s one of us?” Is this who you’re trying to impress?
The people with personalized pronouns? That can’t figure out what gender they are today? That demand the government pay off their college loans? That need therapists and drugs to make it through the week without breaking down? That are trying to convince you that people you don’t even know hate you and that you should hate them, too? That spend every day outraged, claiming they’re a victim?
One quote from the Bible that comes to mind is:
I see so many people following right along in the footsteps of people that obviously aren’t happy, that claim to be victims, that aren’t good people. They’re nasty, they’re surly, they’re dishonest, they’re mean-spirited and you’re letting them influence your worldview? You’re cheering them on? You’re following in their footsteps? Where do you think that’s going to lead you? To success and happiness? Why would it?
When you’re in a degenerate culture that isn’t working well for most people, you should be tempted to “zig” when everyone else is “zagging.” If you see dysfunction and disaster all around you, you don’t want to copy that. Broke people can’t teach you to be wealthy. Unhappy people can’t teach you to be happy. Perpetually outraged people can’t help you find peace.
So, who can?
It’s not enough to just say, “Okay, at least they’re not failures. I can follow them.” Sometimes, bad people succeed. Sometimes people get lucky. Sometimes people that are successful in one area fail in a lot of others.
You want to find role models that have already done what you want to do. Decent people you don’t just want to be because they’re successful, but because they are the sort of people who make the world a better place. Bad people can find success for a time, but the type of person they are often catches up to them in the end. If you follow in their footsteps, it will happen to you. That relates to the other way you can find success. Look at the paths, attitudes, and characters of people that you have admired and learn from them. You can’t necessarily copy them exactly because the world changes over time…
…but the principles of happiness, success, and good living can remain the same sometimes for millennia.
Whatever you do, the first step is to stop currying favor with, copying, and being influenced by people that are failing.
If they tell you they’re a victim, they’re unstable, they can’t succeed because the world is stacked against them and they’re victims of society, take them at their word, leave them to their fate, and find better role models. If the new “normal” isn’t something you want to be, then try to embrace the “old normal” or learn to be “abnormal” enough to get what you want out of life.
This is the course correction formula that should be adopted by education, public service and young people in general. We must stop embracing the lowest common denominator.
Very true.