I’ve written a whole book of advice for young Americans called 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know. If I do say so myself, it’s a good book, it’s timeless, and everything in it is just as relevant today as the day it was released. However, the world has definitely gotten tougher for guys since then, and it feels like young men need a little specialized advice for the environment they’re facing.
But: it's hard to get the prenup when you and your fiancee are all love and roses. It's hard to conceive that your future marriage may break up even though half of marriages do. Snap out of it, fellows. Be prudent. Get the prenup.
Here is a practical way to try to sugarcoat the difficult process of asking her to sign off on the prenup. SAY, "THE COMPANY REQUIRES THIS." That way, someone else is to blame, and you don't come across as an unromantic heavy.
And, a word to the wise, courts will not enforce a prenup that is unfair. So make sure that she is treated fairly. Fair provision for kids. Fair provision for her share of property acquired during the marriage. Don't try to set it up so that if the marriage breaks up after 30 years, she's supposed to walk out the door with a single suitcase.
2. #16. Pay yourself first. SAVE MONEY. Yes. Right on point.
Here are several practical suggestions in this regard.
a. Pay yourself first. Put 10% of your paycheck into investments. Write the check for 10% of your take home pay the first thing, before you pay the bills.
Stocks, money market fund, etc. to start out with because the amount of money will be small. As the amount grows you can branch out into things like real estate. And, yes, contrary to what a lot of advisers are saying nowadays, buying a house counts as an investment so you can use the money you saved for the down payment. Do NOT touch any of the return on the savings. Set it up so that all income (dividends, etc.) are added to the account.
If you do this consistently, in 20 years the income from your investments will equal your salary.
b. Don't tell me that you can't live off 90% of your salary. The fact is that tens of millions of people DO live off 90% of your salary. You can too. By immediately writing the check for 10% of your salary and putting the money into your investments, you will FORCE YOURSELF to learn to live off of 90% of your salary.
c. Youngsters, 20 years may seem as far off as when the Sun runs out of helium. No. 20 years will go by in a flash. Life is a fast trip. And see "d", below.
d. The most important thing in determining ultimate success?
Long term planning!
It's more important than brains and hard work.
Hawkins inspires me.
I have long intended to write an advice book for White males.
I agree, pre-nups are good for people with assets, if they're not done by a "greedy" lawyer who makes unreasonable demands. I got married mid-life, so we each had pre-nups. As a law school grad, I drafted my own, simple and basic. My wife went to a lawyer and that dude must have been billing by the word. There was garbage language in his that was just plain unenforceable about money earned during the marriage, which in my state is community property. We had to pause until she threw hers out and accepted mine. We recently passed our 27th anniversary and those pre-nups expired 17 years ago...
Taking care of your health when you are young is extremely important. I drilled this into my son when he was growing up. I did not do that. I now have type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular vasospasms, hemiplegic migraines that were brought on by a stroke (also brought on by high blood sugar--450 at the time) and chronic depression.
I have learned to do the hard work to loose 80 lbs, eat healthier, exercise more, and manage my depression (usually just by getting out of bed and going to work even when I do not feel like it--I quickly forget about the depression). I forgot, I also have degenerative disc disease in my lower back. My 5 lowest disc are gone. I have to do stretching and strengthening exercises every day to prevent debilitating pain. My back problem started when I was 12 and was playing stupid games and slipped a disc. As a teenager, I worked on a ranch and lifted hay bales that weighed too much for me to do alone which further injured my back.
My son saw all of this and at age 21, decided it was time to loose 60 lbs, and start exercising. He has kept this up for 10 years now.
Easily half of the high school male teens I teach are overweight. About a fourth are morbidly obese. They spend hours a day playing video games and games on their cell phone. They do not need to do well in school because mom and dad will take care of them.
A few of my effeminate boys have lots of female friends. These same girls often assume they are gay. A few are, but most would love to have a girlfriend and just cannot find one. The girls they hang with just see them as another "girlfriend".
These boys have been allowed by their parents and society to grow up as soy boys who run 100% on emotion.
My wife remarked to me the other day that we are no longer raising men; we are raising boys to become permanent, adult boys.
I am glad that I am retiring this May. I get so tired of the boys telling me they are going to tell their mother that I am unfairly giving them consequences. Their mother will come down and straighten me out. I have started responding that when I was their age, I would never have had my mother fight my battles. I told care of business myself.
Once complained to an administrator. When I was called into the meeting over this, I told the administrator that I said it and would not apologize. If that was unacceptable, I would retire now because I no longer have it in me to be politically correct.
John, you should really write a book that expands on this advise for young men.
Most of your recommendations are solid, but I would hesitate to recommend bitcoin and precious metals as long term investments. Over more than 100 years, stocks have been the best investment followed by real estate. I think home ownership is still viable, but depending on one's location, it can be a money sink.
The first is that the most important thing for young investors is not to lose all their money. I do think all of those, included index funds which cover stocks, are likely to do do well over the long term. People could certainly quibble with Bitcoin, but I feel like it is likely to be solid for decades. I could definitely be wrong, but we'll see.
As to real estate, I believe in it as an investment, but I think it gets more complicated to recommend that to a young person as an investment because they don't have the money to buy a house and a lot of people view their own home as an investment, which I don't really view as true -- although it may turn out that way sometimes. Certainly, they could put money into REITS, but is every one of those a good deal? Not necessarily. Similarly, I guess I could say jewels or high end paintings, but those don't seem that accessible either.
All good pieces of advice.
My 2 cents on #7 and #16:
1. #7. The prenup. Yes. Definitely.
But: it's hard to get the prenup when you and your fiancee are all love and roses. It's hard to conceive that your future marriage may break up even though half of marriages do. Snap out of it, fellows. Be prudent. Get the prenup.
Here is a practical way to try to sugarcoat the difficult process of asking her to sign off on the prenup. SAY, "THE COMPANY REQUIRES THIS." That way, someone else is to blame, and you don't come across as an unromantic heavy.
And, a word to the wise, courts will not enforce a prenup that is unfair. So make sure that she is treated fairly. Fair provision for kids. Fair provision for her share of property acquired during the marriage. Don't try to set it up so that if the marriage breaks up after 30 years, she's supposed to walk out the door with a single suitcase.
2. #16. Pay yourself first. SAVE MONEY. Yes. Right on point.
Here are several practical suggestions in this regard.
a. Pay yourself first. Put 10% of your paycheck into investments. Write the check for 10% of your take home pay the first thing, before you pay the bills.
Stocks, money market fund, etc. to start out with because the amount of money will be small. As the amount grows you can branch out into things like real estate. And, yes, contrary to what a lot of advisers are saying nowadays, buying a house counts as an investment so you can use the money you saved for the down payment. Do NOT touch any of the return on the savings. Set it up so that all income (dividends, etc.) are added to the account.
If you do this consistently, in 20 years the income from your investments will equal your salary.
b. Don't tell me that you can't live off 90% of your salary. The fact is that tens of millions of people DO live off 90% of your salary. You can too. By immediately writing the check for 10% of your salary and putting the money into your investments, you will FORCE YOURSELF to learn to live off of 90% of your salary.
c. Youngsters, 20 years may seem as far off as when the Sun runs out of helium. No. 20 years will go by in a flash. Life is a fast trip. And see "d", below.
d. The most important thing in determining ultimate success?
Long term planning!
It's more important than brains and hard work.
Hawkins inspires me.
I have long intended to write an advice book for White males.
This must be done.
I agree, pre-nups are good for people with assets, if they're not done by a "greedy" lawyer who makes unreasonable demands. I got married mid-life, so we each had pre-nups. As a law school grad, I drafted my own, simple and basic. My wife went to a lawyer and that dude must have been billing by the word. There was garbage language in his that was just plain unenforceable about money earned during the marriage, which in my state is community property. We had to pause until she threw hers out and accepted mine. We recently passed our 27th anniversary and those pre-nups expired 17 years ago...
Congratulations, WheelHorseman, on a happy and successful marriage!
#20 ("future you") is a lot like what Jordan Peterson says: "Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for".
It really does help.
Taking care of your health when you are young is extremely important. I drilled this into my son when he was growing up. I did not do that. I now have type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular vasospasms, hemiplegic migraines that were brought on by a stroke (also brought on by high blood sugar--450 at the time) and chronic depression.
I have learned to do the hard work to loose 80 lbs, eat healthier, exercise more, and manage my depression (usually just by getting out of bed and going to work even when I do not feel like it--I quickly forget about the depression). I forgot, I also have degenerative disc disease in my lower back. My 5 lowest disc are gone. I have to do stretching and strengthening exercises every day to prevent debilitating pain. My back problem started when I was 12 and was playing stupid games and slipped a disc. As a teenager, I worked on a ranch and lifted hay bales that weighed too much for me to do alone which further injured my back.
My son saw all of this and at age 21, decided it was time to loose 60 lbs, and start exercising. He has kept this up for 10 years now.
Easily half of the high school male teens I teach are overweight. About a fourth are morbidly obese. They spend hours a day playing video games and games on their cell phone. They do not need to do well in school because mom and dad will take care of them.
A few of my effeminate boys have lots of female friends. These same girls often assume they are gay. A few are, but most would love to have a girlfriend and just cannot find one. The girls they hang with just see them as another "girlfriend".
These boys have been allowed by their parents and society to grow up as soy boys who run 100% on emotion.
My wife remarked to me the other day that we are no longer raising men; we are raising boys to become permanent, adult boys.
I am glad that I am retiring this May. I get so tired of the boys telling me they are going to tell their mother that I am unfairly giving them consequences. Their mother will come down and straighten me out. I have started responding that when I was their age, I would never have had my mother fight my battles. I told care of business myself.
Once complained to an administrator. When I was called into the meeting over this, I told the administrator that I said it and would not apologize. If that was unacceptable, I would retire now because I no longer have it in me to be politically correct.
John, you should really write a book that expands on this advise for young men.
GREAT advice for Men. How about one for Women?
Most of your recommendations are solid, but I would hesitate to recommend bitcoin and precious metals as long term investments. Over more than 100 years, stocks have been the best investment followed by real estate. I think home ownership is still viable, but depending on one's location, it can be a money sink.
Two thoughts on that.
The first is that the most important thing for young investors is not to lose all their money. I do think all of those, included index funds which cover stocks, are likely to do do well over the long term. People could certainly quibble with Bitcoin, but I feel like it is likely to be solid for decades. I could definitely be wrong, but we'll see.
As to real estate, I believe in it as an investment, but I think it gets more complicated to recommend that to a young person as an investment because they don't have the money to buy a house and a lot of people view their own home as an investment, which I don't really view as true -- although it may turn out that way sometimes. Certainly, they could put money into REITS, but is every one of those a good deal? Not necessarily. Similarly, I guess I could say jewels or high end paintings, but those don't seem that accessible either.