I don’t hate liberals, but I do detest liberalism because I view it like an infection. A human being can survive a small infection, with no problem – and the same is true of liberalism. It may sound strange for a conservative to say, but there are lots of wonderful human beings out there that are liberals. They’re nice people, they genuinely mean well and they’re pleasant to be around.

In my experience, however, like infections, liberalism can turn disastrous in a hurry once it starts to spread. The more politically involved a liberal becomes, the more miserable, insufferable, and toxic they often turn out to be. Even if you knew nothing about liberalism other than the effect it has on people, you’d know it’s a monstrous philosophy that smart people avoid like a case of monkeypox.

If you’re conservative, you are probably nodding along. If you’re not into politics or worse yet, a liberal who hasn’t been badly infected yet, you may not understand what we’re talking about. Read this column and you will get it.

1) Liberals insert politics into EVERYTHING: Sporting events? Business? Church? School? Thanksgiving dinner? To liberals, EVERYTHING is a brutal political struggle and sometimes it’s like, “Damnit Alyssa, I just want to enjoy this movie without hearing complaints that the film engages in cultural appropriation and the cast is too cisnormative for you. ”

2) The totalitarian impulse: Liberals love, love, love nothing better than the idea of writing a law in Washington, DC today and forcing everyone else in the country to obey it at gunpoint tomorrow. That’s why so many liberals were secretly ecstatic over COVID. Having the power to decide whether people got to open their businesses or not, get a haircut or even go to the beach is like a wet dream for a lot of liberals. Many of them are attitudinally no different than the people that run China, but fortunately for us, unlike China, we have a Second Amendment that keeps liberals from going too far.

3) Pro-censorship: Because liberals have given up on proving that their ideas are good, they’ve increasingly embraced censorship. You know, it’s like that old saying goes, “if you can’t beat them, then try to make it impossible for anyone to find out that they have better ideas than you so that you win by default.”

4) They are baffled by gender: Matt Walsh famously did an entire movie called, “What is a Woman?” that revolved around the modern Left’s inability to answer that simple question. What they seem to have settled on is that your gender is whatever you decide it is, which makes absolutely no logical, scientific or common sense. The idea is that kids, who decide that they’re The Rock, Spider-Man, or a dinosaur one minute without being taken seriously, should be treated like the opposite gender the moment a boy takes an interest in My Little Pony or a girl likes football is madness. Allowing confused teen girls to have their breasts cut off or teen boys to have their penises carved up? It’s some of the most horrific lunacy happening on planet Earth. Once you get to the point where you falsely believe you can choose your gender, what can’t you choose? Can a white man choose to be black? Can you choose to be an ox? A coffee table? A planet? Napoleon? If not, why not? All of these things are equally ridiculous and the further we go down this road, the weirder it’s going to get – and newsflash… liberals have already gotten pretty freaking weird on this topic already.

5) Liberals have given up on convincing people their ideas are good: These days, liberals generally don’t even try to make a case for their ideas. Instead, they essentially say, “We’re the good guys and anyone who disagrees with us is a bad guy and our enemy. So, which do you want to be?” They’re not interested in debate, they’re not interested in alternative ideas, they just know that “good people believe what we believe and bad people don’t.” From there, everything else they say is just a backward justification to explain why the Mean Girls Club they’ve created is being victimized by the people they’re tormenting in the hallways.

6) Liberalism is a religion substitute: Devout liberals value liberalism above everything else. For liberals, it’s ahead of friendship, relationships with family, their job, their kids, and even God. Fanatics of any sort get on everyone’s nerves, but zealots screaming about Critical Race Theory, microaggressions, and drag queens are a special kind of hell.

7) Liberals just don’t care if their policies work: Liberals care a lot about how ideas SOUND and MAKE THEM FEEL, but not at all about whether they work or not. As a general rule, liberals are so indifferent to the success and failure of most of the policies they advocate that they don’t even bother to check. There’s certainly no one on the Left going, “Wow, it sure is disappointing that all the promises we sold Obamacare with weren’t true and the higher insurance costs it caused are hurting a lot of Americans, so maybe we should repeal it.” Instead. It’s more like, “Ha! We passed it suckers and if you don’t like that it doesn’t do what we said, too bad! No backsies!” Every liberal policy effectively ends up being Nancy Pelosi saying, "We [need] to pass the bill in order to find out what [is] in it." Of course, by the time you find out what’s in it, you’ve already taken the poison and they’re going to sit there cackling at you, twirling their bad guy mustaches and laughing about how you’re never getting the antidote.

8) Race obsession: Liberals constantly work to tear down the idea of a colorblind America and create the idea that everyone must be judged by their race first… well, except the white liberals, of course. They’re the “good white people” because they’re liberal, so they’re supposed to get a pass for the never-ending racial nonsense they foist on everyone else. Happily, it doesn’t always work out that way and even white liberals end up getting destroyed every so often by the race-obsessed Frankenstein monster that they’ve created.

9) So many liberals are blind to their own hypocrisy: It’s bizarre to see a liberal who has private bodyguards calling for gun confiscation, who flies overseas on a private jet talking about how we’ve all got to cut back on carbon emissions, or who complains about how awful capitalism is by tweeting on their iPhone. Some of this is certainly a, “Do as we say, not as we do sort of thing,” but a lot of times liberals seem to be genuinely oblivious to their own hypocrisy. For most of us, that would be impossible, but most liberals don’t understand the issues they’re talking about very well, haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about them, and haven’t even considered the other side of their arguments. So many of them are like monkeys playing with dynamite who don’t understand why the banana trees keep exploding.

10) Liberals trash America: The United States may not be perfect, but it is the most successful, prosperous, and dominant nation in all of recorded human history. Meanwhile, a bunch of people who can’t even manage a large city or college campus without it turning into a sh*tshow are constantly proclaiming how awful America is, mocking people who unironically love their country, and looking for ways to fundamentally transform it. There is absolutely nothing going on in say Berkeley, Chicago, or New Jersey that suggests liberals could come up with something better than the Founding Fathers did, but that’s not going to stop some dork with a drug habit, a psychologist, and personal pronouns from explaining how we need to be much more like some country that’s ten times less successful than we are.

11) Liberals lie incessantly: Liberals are fine with lying in pretty much any circumstance that benefits them. They’re good with lying to the public, lying to their voters, and most of all, lying about conservatives. This is so much the case that politics in America could basically be boiled down to liberals trying to hide what they believe from the public while conservatives spend their time incessantly trying to correct all the lies liberals tell about them. Elon Musk isn’t a conservative, but this is par for the course:

12) Their ignorance of conservative ideas: Conservatives generally understand liberals very well, but the reverse isn’t true at all. Most of what liberals know about conservatives is little more than propaganda based on lies, made up by people who hate conservatives. If you listen to most liberals, even for a relatively short period of time, it’s very clear that they don’t know any conservatives, understand how we think, or have any deeper knowledge about us than whatever nonsense Rachel Maddow or Don Lemon made up off the top of their heads last night.

13) Victim obsession: Liberals are obsessed with victimhood. They are incessantly either trying to play themselves off as victims or portray some other group as poor, pathetic victims that desperately need their help. If there aren’t any victims, liberals will find a way to create them and what do you know, they’ll always be either liberals or people liberals want to vote for them. Meanwhile, the people they accuse of victimizing them will always turn out to be their political enemies. Funny how it always turns out that way, isn’t it?

14) Liberals are intensely tribal: Liberals view the entire world tribally. If you’re in their tribe, you deserve at least a certain minimal level of fairness. If you’re not, almost anything goes. It’s okay to lie about you, refuse to hire you, mistreat you, bully you, use lawfare against you, and generally treat you like garbage. With the “wrong” tribe, almost anything goes. Liberals don’t feel bad about this either. To them, life is like a video game where it’s never immoral to attack the other side and you know that because if they were good guys, they would be on your side. Duh!

15) Hyperbole and catastrophizing: Because liberals are so desperate to be victims, a lot of them have a tendency to turn every molehill into a mountain. In fact, that’s the whole idea behind microaggressions. “Oh, you think America is a melting pot? Well, let me tell you why that’s highly offensive…” It’s the same thing with “words are violence” (by the way, they don’t ever consider their words violence, just your words) or students making jackasses of themselves by trying to shut some speaker down because allegedly if he’s allowed to talk and people listen to him of their own free will, it’ll cause catastrophic damage. We even live in a world where the FBI investigated a DOOR PULL because when Bubba Wallace’s crew moved into a garage, they thought it looked like a tiny noose. Yes, seriously.

16) Liberals feel a never-ending desire to out-woke each other: It’s basically impossible to cooperate with liberals on anything, because if you give them an inch, the next thing you know, you’re 150 miles away from where you started wondering how you got there. Just as an example, very few people really cared much one way or the other about Confederate flags. But, once people caved on that, then next thing you know, liberals were ripping statues down in riots and demanding that everything named after the Founding Fathers be renamed because they weren’t as racially sensitive 200 years ago as we are today. Liberals do this because they’re competing with each other, not in a tangible way, but over who’s supposedly the most compassionate, kind, and sensitive. When you’re competing over arbitrary terms like that instead of something real that personally costs you resources in the real world, there is no bottom. Next thing you know, you have white people apologizing for their skin color and leftists claiming that you’re a bigot if you don’t believe people can change their gender at will.

17) Liberals don’t care about law and order: Well, that’s only partially true. Liberals absolutely care about law and order when it comes to their personal safety. They’re certainly happy to live in gated communities or have armed security, but when it impacts someone else, they tend to spend more time worrying about the people committing the crimes than the people targeted by the criminals. They fight to keep criminals from being charged in the first place, reduce the charges on crimes, insist on making it easy for dirtbags to get out without bail, ignore certain crimes (like shoplifting), handcuff the police, reduce sentences and it always goes the same way. Crime goes up, but liberals insist it isn’t happening. Then they admit it’s happening, but say it has nothing to do with their policies. Then eventually, the voters force them to reluctantly crack down on crime to stay in power. This has happened multiple times in American history and it’s in the process of happening again now. Guess what? After it fails this time, it will happen again because a small child might be able to learn this lesson, but liberals never do.

18) Liberals put zero long-term thought into the impact of their policies: Liberals are like kids in a candy store with their mom’s credit card. They want what they want, now, and they’re not thinking about anything beyond that. This is liberalism to a T. Liberals don’t care whether we go into debt. They don’t think about what the ramifications of getting rid of the filibuster for legislation or stacking the Supreme Court might be. They have no concerns about mixing men and women in sporting events, locker rooms, and prisons. They are indifferent to the long-term ramifications of open borders, attempted gun confiscation, or making it difficult to acquire coal, oil, and natural gas. They don’t worry about any of that. Someone else will just have to solve those problems one day, with them undermining them the whole time they do because they only want to do the “fun” things. This kind of thing works with a parent and a kid because the parent is ultimately in charge, but what would happen if the responsible parent and the bratty child rotated decision-making responsibilities for years at a time? Bankruptcy, a house in disrepair, piles of candy no one wants everywhere, and a 14-year-old kid with diabetes. Welcome to 2022 America.

19) They believe in grooming kids: There hasn’t been much that the Left and Right in America have agreed on in the last few decades, but at least we used to agree that children need to be protected. The Right still feels that way, but the Left? Not anymore. They now fight tooth and nail to do the sort of things that have been traditionally associated with creepy pedophiles. The Left is fighting to give small children explicitly gay pornography in schools, trying to confuse them about their gender, putting them in front of gross drag queens as often as possible, and increasingly trying to convince kids not to tell their parents what’s going on. There’s a reason the grooming label stuck and if anything, people aren’t concerned enough about these sorts of perversions being foisted on kids. Childhood is supposed to be a time of innocence, not a time to confuse and sexualize small children.

20) Liberals have wildly inconsistent beliefs: Yes, Ralph Waldo Emerson was right when he said, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,” but there are limits to everything. How do liberals simultaneously campaign for letting other libs riot at will, defunding the police, AND taking the public’s guns? They’ll tell you that a woman should be able to kill her baby because she has a right to control what happens to her own body and then tell you people should be fired for refusing to take a COVID shot. They will tell you that conservatives criticize liberals, that’s dangerous “stochastic terrorism” that shouldn’t be allowed, but when liberals criticize conservatives, that’s just free speech. On the one hand, liberals will go on and on about women’s rights, then they’ll turn around and tell you that they don’t know what a woman is and a woman today could have been a guy yesterday and can have a penis. Nothing a liberal says today has any bearing on what he says tomorrow, it’s just whatever benefits him the most at the moment.

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