God and Dogs

Do you deserve to be loved? Do you deserve to be forgiven?

I always get a little emotional when I think about God loving someone like me.

How can the most powerful being in the entire universe love an insignificant speck like me like a son and want me to succeed? Especially when I feel so flawed and so undeserving sometimes. I am so imperfect. I’ve done so many things wrong in my life – and God has seen them all. He knows every errant thought, every bad thing I’ve done, and every mistake I’ve made.

When I think about God helping someone like me, the first thought that comes into my head is, "I don't deserve it."

Of course, none of us really do. We all tell ourselves stories about how we may be unworthy, but at least we’re better than that guy over there and those people. Sometimes that’s even true, but if we compared ourselves to the standard Jesus set or even the way the most devout Christians in history behaved, we’d all fall so short.

So, we may love God. We may fear God. We may want to please Him, but how can He look at what we are, at what I am, and believe I’m worthy of His love and help? It was hard for me to accept that I deserved God’s love and forgiveness and multiple times when I was fortunate enough to have hands laid on me and a prayer said over me, it was hard to control my emotions because those words, “I don’t deserve it” rang in my heart.

However, you know what consoled me? You know what made me feel as if maybe God could really love and care for me even if I didn’t deserve it?

My dog.

This is my dog, Boudica.

She’s clearly inferior to me. She makes mistakes. She was a huge pain to train to walk on a leash. She still sometimes does the wrong thing.

She was just an unwanted stray that was abandoned and was found roaming around rural South Carolina, but you know what?

I really care what happens to her. I want her to have a good life. I forgive her when she does the wrong thing. I really, truly love her.

And If I can love her, then I guess I can accept that God can love and forgive me, too, even if I don’t feel like I deserve it.

All I can say is that I love God back, I hope I can do a better job of serving Him and I hope one day, He'll decide that despite all my flaws, I was a good and faithful servant that made Him proud.

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