Every once in a while, there’s a story on Reddit that’s both compelling and touches on larger issues. This is one of those stories and it has so many twists and turns that you could probably make a gripping movie out of it without having to touch it up all that much:
He should not consider it. From start to finish she exhibited conduct which indicates her unsuitability as a wife and mother. She didn’t know her best friend had a low character ? Come on. One thing to return home and calmly tell him of the accusation and talk it out quite another to immediately fly off handle storm out and send police for children. The one inviolable rule is one never involves kids in these events protecting them from any adverse information they are not directly involved in. You speak well of each other providing as limited info as possible. In a sane world the children would be awarded to him with only supervised visits with her if any. Her actions border on child abuse and are enough to make one feel ill, in such a situation one’s children should be one’s primary concern heartbreaking to think what she put them through
She made a life-changing decision for her entire family, irretrievably breaking apart their family, on the word of one person without even asking her husband and father of her children for his side of the issue. She never charged him, never let him defend himself, just found him guilty on the basis of one person's word.
That's inexcusable. You never make any consequential decision without consulting both sides. She ruined his life. She ruined their children's lives.
She can never make that right. He should get the kids, house, and dog.
And why would she have as a friend, such a misandrist harpy in the first place?
He should not take her back. Trust is the cornerstone of any good marriage and on top of that, her behavior was way over the top. I can't stand it when parents use their children as pawns.
This woman should not have any relationship with her children. They are better off without her, and though we only have the man's side of the story, he sounds like he should be able to find a good woman to marry who would be a better mother than their birth mother.
Certainly the man is correct to cut off ties with this narcissist wife- there's no doubt If it were my husband, there's no way I'd condemn him and crater my kids' whole world without benefit of the doubt. Kids who go through this kind of stuff really suffer.
People don't consider the kids, they are all about what's good for them (or what they imagine is good, according to the movie in their head). The kid's went through hell, especially living with one parent for a week, then the other. Where's the stability in that? Inexcusable.
As for the man's mother, she doesn't sound especially intelligent, or loyal. It's an unfortunate situation but right is right. This man stood up for himself. Good for him.
The crystal example of this is the abortion question. A woman gets pregnant. She can have the child or not. The father has no rights in contributing to the decision. She decides to keep -- he pays. She decides to abort -- he loses the opportunity to be a father. The man gets no choice. Hence the phrase 'women have choices, men have responsibilities'.
No, because probably she was the one who was cheating, better to remain alone until she gets help for her own problems, and wait for reconciliation on God's terms.
Besides people who do the divorcing and then accuse are usually the ones guilty, and they are by nature LIARS, and defaming the "innocent party" so instead of taking responsibility for her own sin, makes it all "his fault". Notice in the story, the wife already moved on with "another boyfriend", and now wants to fix everything, even after she lied to everybody.
I wrote my own paper on the subject that I placed in my substack. Feel free to cross post it.
After what she put the kids through ... but wait. What evidence do we have that things happened the way he says? If the story is true, then no, keep away from her. But if it's not, that's a different story.
With a mother like this, I’m not surprised that this man chose a wife like that. Once this fell apart, he did react properly. His mother is the toxic servant of an abusive psycho. She’s probably working the kids over behind the scenes. The man should lay it down hard with his mother and cut contact until she gets her head straight. It’s disgusting that his ex-wife is dragging his parents into it, but tolerating equals volunteering.
I would have a lawyer write up an ironclad prenup giving him sole custody of the kids and 100% of joint property in the event of a second divorce.
It would be a reasonable ask given the circumstances.
He could invite her to dinner with his parents and present it to her in their company. If she was unwilling to sign(most likely) it would at least get his mother off his back.
If she agrees to it he can see his kids all the time.
He would have to live with a crazy woman until the second divorce, (which will most likely happen), but his kids are worth it.
Besides, I bet the "I'm sorry I believed my friend over you, took your kids away, and whored around for a while" make up sex will be phenomenal.
Regardless of her sins, a husband is still called to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. Christ did not abandon the Church, He gave himself up for Her. Marriage ends at death, not at sin — no matter how serious. I don’t envy the task of forgiving this woman, but Christ ain’t ask us to follow Him because it would be easy
He should not consider it. From start to finish she exhibited conduct which indicates her unsuitability as a wife and mother. She didn’t know her best friend had a low character ? Come on. One thing to return home and calmly tell him of the accusation and talk it out quite another to immediately fly off handle storm out and send police for children. The one inviolable rule is one never involves kids in these events protecting them from any adverse information they are not directly involved in. You speak well of each other providing as limited info as possible. In a sane world the children would be awarded to him with only supervised visits with her if any. Her actions border on child abuse and are enough to make one feel ill, in such a situation one’s children should be one’s primary concern heartbreaking to think what she put them through
Absolutely not.
She made a life-changing decision for her entire family, irretrievably breaking apart their family, on the word of one person without even asking her husband and father of her children for his side of the issue. She never charged him, never let him defend himself, just found him guilty on the basis of one person's word.
That's inexcusable. You never make any consequential decision without consulting both sides. She ruined his life. She ruined their children's lives.
She can never make that right. He should get the kids, house, and dog.
And why would she have as a friend, such a misandrist harpy in the first place?
He should not take her back. Trust is the cornerstone of any good marriage and on top of that, her behavior was way over the top. I can't stand it when parents use their children as pawns.
This woman should not have any relationship with her children. They are better off without her, and though we only have the man's side of the story, he sounds like he should be able to find a good woman to marry who would be a better mother than their birth mother.
Certainly the man is correct to cut off ties with this narcissist wife- there's no doubt If it were my husband, there's no way I'd condemn him and crater my kids' whole world without benefit of the doubt. Kids who go through this kind of stuff really suffer.
People don't consider the kids, they are all about what's good for them (or what they imagine is good, according to the movie in their head). The kid's went through hell, especially living with one parent for a week, then the other. Where's the stability in that? Inexcusable.
As for the man's mother, she doesn't sound especially intelligent, or loyal. It's an unfortunate situation but right is right. This man stood up for himself. Good for him.
The crystal example of this is the abortion question. A woman gets pregnant. She can have the child or not. The father has no rights in contributing to the decision. She decides to keep -- he pays. She decides to abort -- he loses the opportunity to be a father. The man gets no choice. Hence the phrase 'women have choices, men have responsibilities'.
This story might sound absurd, but a similar situation is happening to someone I know. How sad.
No, because probably she was the one who was cheating, better to remain alone until she gets help for her own problems, and wait for reconciliation on God's terms.
Besides people who do the divorcing and then accuse are usually the ones guilty, and they are by nature LIARS, and defaming the "innocent party" so instead of taking responsibility for her own sin, makes it all "his fault". Notice in the story, the wife already moved on with "another boyfriend", and now wants to fix everything, even after she lied to everybody.
I wrote my own paper on the subject that I placed in my substack. Feel free to cross post it.
https://open.substack.com/pub/efdouglass/p/remarriage-after-divorce-to-another?r=2wbge&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
After what she put the kids through ... but wait. What evidence do we have that things happened the way he says? If the story is true, then no, keep away from her. But if it's not, that's a different story.
With a mother like this, I’m not surprised that this man chose a wife like that. Once this fell apart, he did react properly. His mother is the toxic servant of an abusive psycho. She’s probably working the kids over behind the scenes. The man should lay it down hard with his mother and cut contact until she gets her head straight. It’s disgusting that his ex-wife is dragging his parents into it, but tolerating equals volunteering.
I would have a lawyer write up an ironclad prenup giving him sole custody of the kids and 100% of joint property in the event of a second divorce.
It would be a reasonable ask given the circumstances.
He could invite her to dinner with his parents and present it to her in their company. If she was unwilling to sign(most likely) it would at least get his mother off his back.
If she agrees to it he can see his kids all the time.
He would have to live with a crazy woman until the second divorce, (which will most likely happen), but his kids are worth it.
Besides, I bet the "I'm sorry I believed my friend over you, took your kids away, and whored around for a while" make up sex will be phenomenal.
Regardless of her sins, a husband is still called to love his wife as Christ loved the Church. Christ did not abandon the Church, He gave himself up for Her. Marriage ends at death, not at sin — no matter how serious. I don’t envy the task of forgiving this woman, but Christ ain’t ask us to follow Him because it would be easy