Thanks for an interesting read! My son will be getting married soon, so reflecting on my marriage has been on my mind. My husband and I have been married for 40+ years; we have a wealth of history from which to draw. I can say for us the key to a happy long lived marriage is respect and also selflessness. Maybe those are traits that are hard to come by today, but so important. It is easy in the heat of an argument to be cruel, but once those hurtful words leave your lips they live forever. It's important to choose your words, not always easy to do. My husband is a selfless man. He left the country of his birth to be married to me. It was not easy in the beginning, but worth the investment.
My daughter was raised "outside of marriage" after her parents divorced. But she was still raised by two parents and turned out great. Can we make a distinction between responsible divorced parents and irresponsible single parents. And not pretend that it is good for children to be raised in a household with 2 parents who no longer get along.
Statistically, there is such an enormous gulf between the outcomes of kids raised by single parents and in a two parent home that yeah, it is almost certainly better for kids to be raised by two parents that don't get along very well than to go through a divorce. It happens, but very, very few people get divorced because they're looking out for the best interests of their children.
That being said, "responsible divorced parents" are a very real thing and if a child is going to go through that trauma, having both parents set aside their differences and work together for the good of their kids can make a huge difference in the ultimate outcomes for the child as you've seen in your case.
I absolutely got divorced for the good of my daughter. I knew that it was not a good idea for her to grow up in a house with two people who didn't get along well.
Seems to me John has forgotten about black families being sold down the river, sometimes together, often separated, for going on,412 years now. But who's counting?
John, there is nothing "conservative" about constructing your own fantasy story of American institutions and trying to convince the rest of the world that your imaginings are truth.
When your wife hits her 50s and is going through menopause and the kids have gone to college this is when you’re going to get a divorce. I thought I was in a happy marriage until my wife wanted to split up when all these things happened. I then learned to my horror at least a dozen other friends we’re going through the same thing under the same conditions. My wife was a Doctor but never made the money I did. She spent 100% of her salary on herself while I supported the family. When we got a divorce she walked away with half my net worth when I was pushing 60. I have two daughters and have warned them it’s going to be tough to find a good husband in this day and age. There just is no advantages to a man getting married anymore. Out of wedlock children is very common and the last thing you want to do is have any financial obligations with a woman. I treated my x like a queen, and after a while that treatment becomes an entitlement. I have a wonderful girlfriend now and I think the lack of a legal institution of marriage is what keeps us and our relationship stronger. Either one of us can pull the plug at any moment and the other knows that, so we try a bit harder.
I believe marriage can survive if we end feminism and repeal laws that are destroying men for getting married and having children. We must hold women severely accountable for their crimes of paternity fraud, false accusations of any kind, parental alienation, emotional child and spousal abuse, we must end No-fault divorce and make alienation of affection a civil and criminal offense to reduce infidelity. Currently, there are too many incentives for women to destroy their marriages, their families, traumatize men and their children for frivolous reasons.
Marriage was not designed to bind women to men, and you offer no evidence to support this. Marriage is broken because men and women don't know how to love and forgive unconditionally. Its the people who are broken, not the institution.
Thanks for an interesting read! My son will be getting married soon, so reflecting on my marriage has been on my mind. My husband and I have been married for 40+ years; we have a wealth of history from which to draw. I can say for us the key to a happy long lived marriage is respect and also selflessness. Maybe those are traits that are hard to come by today, but so important. It is easy in the heat of an argument to be cruel, but once those hurtful words leave your lips they live forever. It's important to choose your words, not always easy to do. My husband is a selfless man. He left the country of his birth to be married to me. It was not easy in the beginning, but worth the investment.
My daughter was raised "outside of marriage" after her parents divorced. But she was still raised by two parents and turned out great. Can we make a distinction between responsible divorced parents and irresponsible single parents. And not pretend that it is good for children to be raised in a household with 2 parents who no longer get along.
Statistically, there is such an enormous gulf between the outcomes of kids raised by single parents and in a two parent home that yeah, it is almost certainly better for kids to be raised by two parents that don't get along very well than to go through a divorce. It happens, but very, very few people get divorced because they're looking out for the best interests of their children.
That being said, "responsible divorced parents" are a very real thing and if a child is going to go through that trauma, having both parents set aside their differences and work together for the good of their kids can make a huge difference in the ultimate outcomes for the child as you've seen in your case.
I absolutely got divorced for the good of my daughter. I knew that it was not a good idea for her to grow up in a house with two people who didn't get along well.
I love how people that disagree with John can hardly offer up any counterarguments beyond "nuh uh!"
"Become" a broken institution? All of a sudden?
Seems to me John has forgotten about black families being sold down the river, sometimes together, often separated, for going on,412 years now. But who's counting?
John, there is nothing "conservative" about constructing your own fantasy story of American institutions and trying to convince the rest of the world that your imaginings are truth.
When your wife hits her 50s and is going through menopause and the kids have gone to college this is when you’re going to get a divorce. I thought I was in a happy marriage until my wife wanted to split up when all these things happened. I then learned to my horror at least a dozen other friends we’re going through the same thing under the same conditions. My wife was a Doctor but never made the money I did. She spent 100% of her salary on herself while I supported the family. When we got a divorce she walked away with half my net worth when I was pushing 60. I have two daughters and have warned them it’s going to be tough to find a good husband in this day and age. There just is no advantages to a man getting married anymore. Out of wedlock children is very common and the last thing you want to do is have any financial obligations with a woman. I treated my x like a queen, and after a while that treatment becomes an entitlement. I have a wonderful girlfriend now and I think the lack of a legal institution of marriage is what keeps us and our relationship stronger. Either one of us can pull the plug at any moment and the other knows that, so we try a bit harder.
I believe marriage can survive if we end feminism and repeal laws that are destroying men for getting married and having children. We must hold women severely accountable for their crimes of paternity fraud, false accusations of any kind, parental alienation, emotional child and spousal abuse, we must end No-fault divorce and make alienation of affection a civil and criminal offense to reduce infidelity. Currently, there are too many incentives for women to destroy their marriages, their families, traumatize men and their children for frivolous reasons.
Marriage was not designed to bind women to men, and you offer no evidence to support this. Marriage is broken because men and women don't know how to love and forgive unconditionally. Its the people who are broken, not the institution.